"Because You Think Being A Girl Is Degrading"

(Above) Do androgynous models catch flack for rocking the very concept of
gender binary to its core? Well, if they do, they're probably too
busy making snow angels in piles of cash to notice.

When I was in 8th grade, my teacher wanted to liven things up by giving us a debate topic that was a tad more risqué than usual, at least by middle-school standards. The topic was: Is it better to be a girl or a boy? Not "which sex is better?", but literally "which sex has the better end of the deal?"

I remember being excited by this question. As a little feminist-in-the-making (which at that age probably translated to "Woo! Girls rule!"), I had my answer perfectly formulated before anybody else had time to blink: 

Obviously, girls have it better because we have more freedom when it comes to doing the things we want. Girls can play sports and do other "guy stuff" and people think it's cool. But poor boys, if they want to knit, or bake, or do stereotypical "girl stuff" people make fun of them for it.

I was confident with this answer. It felt rock-solid, and I didn't think anybody would be able to come up with a good counter-argument when it came time to duke things out in the classroom. Truth be told, I can't remember what words were exchanged that day, but I do remember feeling utterly betrayed when my friend — a Korean chick who, to this day, is still one of the coolest and funniest people I know — sat on the boys' side of the argument. I just couldn't understand why she thought boys had a better deal in life. What happened to sisterhood?

Looking back, I realize now that my friend (who I'll call Ki-Jyeong Mung for legal reasons) was smarter than all of us. While the rest of us girls sat in smug satisfaction that we had a pretty good set-up in life (We could choose to be tomboys or girly-girls! How liberating!), we didn't understand the deeper implications of our opinion. When a girl is admired for kicking tail on the basketball court but a boy is called every number of degrading names for wearing a holiday sweater that's too "feminine," what is that really saying about the female gender?

After all these years, I finally get it. And I think this picture (which quotes a Madonna song) sums "it" up perfectly.

When You're About To Say Something Stupid . . .

What does being a girl mean to you? (By Alexis Z.)

Alexis Z. wrote this piece in response to a question I've been asking for a while now: "What does being a girl mean to you?" If you've got a different opinion about what "being a girl" means to you, type it up and send it to me at teenagefeminist@gmail.com! See the official submission guidelines here.

Women are fighters. Even without the gloves.

[Being a girl] means that I can do whatever I want. I can wear what I want and not be criminalized because of it. Though today some men think that it's okay to rape a woman because she is wearing a short skirt . . . being a girl means that I can wear pants, shorts, or a skirt. It means that . . . when I turn 18 I can vote, I can join the military. It means that my fore-mothers fought for equality and they fought hard. We don't have perfect equality today and it would be nice to have it, but we do have some. 

Being a girl is a sense of freedom that I can be myself. [But it also] means that whenever I am in a bad mood it's [automatically] "my time of the month." That isn't fair. 

Being a girl means that I have to fight for what I want . . . Being a girl means that I have to prove myself in whatever I do and I have to do it right, because if I don't then it will be said that "women can't do that." Being a girl is a blessing and a curse. Everyone says that women are equal, but being a girl means that I am a minority, even though women are 52% of the world's population.

Being a girl is wonderful. I may have to fight for my beliefs, but the fight is worth it. Even if I get shot down once, I am going to keep trying . . . Being a girl means that I am never going to change my opinion on anything that is dear to me. I thank all of my ancestors who fought for the rights that I have today, and I will keep fighting for the equality that all women still have to gain. 

Being a fighter, a mother, a lover, a pusher, and being stubborn is what being a girl means to me.

Other posts in this series: 

• What does being a girl mean to you? (By Becka W.)

SlutWalk Seattle and the Awesomeness that Ensued

I was so excited to attend SlutWalk Seattle with my friend Sera two weekends ago. Seattle got a very interesting makeover (see pictures above) when hundreds of people gathered to protest an all too common (and completely ridiculous) notion: that women "should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized."

As the event's website explains:

People aren’t assaulted because they invited it or enticed others to it by looking a certain way; they’re assaulted because somebody chose to assault them. Saying that survivors could have protected themselves by not looking like “sluts” implies that the survivors are at fault and creates a culture in which the heinous crime of sexual assault is seen as no big deal.

This was my first real "protest." I probably saw more skin that day than I've seen in my entire life, but the fact that people could be so bold in order to make a point (i.e. it doesn't matter what you're wearing — or not wearing — rape is never okay) was truly inspiring. In my nothing-fancy Seinfeld t-shirt and jeans I felt a little intimidated at first, but once I started talking to random people and asking to take their pictures, I realized that these were some of the kindest and most activism-driven people I'd ever met in my life.

Sorry for the cliche, but you really can't judge a book by its cover.

The event itself consisted of marching from Cal Anderson Park to Westlake Center, both in Seattle. The atmosphere was incredibly positive and uplifting, even though we got a visit from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church. If you've never heard of WBC, they've gained national media attention for protesting the funerals of fallen soldiers and spreading their hateful, homophobic, anti-Semitic religious dogma at a variety of high-profile events. WBC hates Jews, homosexuals, the U.S. military, sluts (and many others, I'm sure), and are known for their bold, colorful signs that say everything from "Aids Cures F*gs" to "Thank God for Dead Soldiers."

I was excited to see WBC in person. I wanted to see the idiocy up close.

I didn't get any good shots of WBC in Seattle, so I had to Google a photo.
This is actually one of the less offensive pictures I found!

But, I don't want to waste time talking about these assholes. If you'd like to spend the next hour or so yelling at your computer monitor, I suggest you Google them. *smiles*

For me, the most surreal and passionate and amazing part of the protest was when everybody chanted together. Hundreds of voices tangled to create a gigantic, powerful echo; we rattled the entire city with sayings like "Wherever we go, however we dress, no means no, and yes means yes!" and "When women's rights are under attack, what we do? Stand up! Fight back!"

If you can imagine the strangest collection of people ever — men, women, children, the elderly — of every orientation, color, body shape, and style of dress — all united by a common cause, that's what SlutWalk Seattle felt like. Being a feminist can feel lonely and alienating when it seems like the world is against you, but last Sunday I was embraced by an entire community of people who were willing to risk anything to fight for women's rights.

Another poignant part of the day was when we heard from Cee Fisher, a member of a socialist feminist organization called Radical Women. At one point she screamed "Show Seattle what a feminist looks like!" into her microphone, and everyone in the crowd pointed to themselves and repeated the sentiment.

I'm not a loud person by any means. But when Cee Fisher challenged us to show the city — neigh, the world — what a feminist looked like, I pointed to myself and screamed along with everyone else.

You know those times when you feel so impassioned you just want to cry?

That was one of those moments.
____________________________

There were some very powerful speakers at SlutWalk. We heard from feminists, a spoken word artist, and even people who've experienced rape and sexual assault first-hand. Here's a video of one speaker who nearly had me in tears. A recent women's studies major and graduate of the University of Washington, this woman explained what she had to go through to convict her attacker.

More Pictures:

• SlutWalk Seattle 2011 (Flickr)
• SlutWalk Seattle Photos (Facebook)

News Articles:

• Reclaiming Stereotypes by Kirsten Johnson (UW Newspaper)
• SlutWalk aims to empower women through a bold message by Elizabeth Dinh (Komo News)
• Rape awareness aim of Sunday's SlutWalk in Seattle by Katherine Long (Seattle Times)
• Hundreds march in Seattle 'SlutWalk' demonstration by Tonya Mosley (King 5 News)

Pop Culture Decoded: Feminist Frequency

Feminist Frequency is an ongoing web series of video commentaries from a feminist/fangirl perspective created by Anita Sarkeesian. Feminist Frequency looks at, critiques and occasionally celebrates representations in popular culture specifically looking at gender, sexuality, race, class and ability in the mass media.

Some Feminist Frequency Videos:

• The Bechdel Test for Women in Movies
• Fembots, Advertising and Male Fantasy
• What Liquor Ads Teach Us About Guys
• Toy Ads and Learning Gender
• Women's Stories, Movies and the Oscars
• Tropes vs. Women: #1 The Manic Pixie Dream Girl
• Tropes vs. Women: #2 Women in Refrigerators
• Tropes vs. Women: #3 The Smurfette Principle
• Tropes vs. Women: #4 The Evil Demon Seductress