Feminist TV Club: Commander in Chief

One of my feminist/blogger friends had the rather smashing idea of starting a weekly Feminist TV Club! Check out what she has to say about it; hopefully you'll feel like joining in the discussion!

Books are great, but they sure are time-consuming. And when you belong to a book club, there’s a certain anxiety that comes with finishing the book on time and reading carefully. You know what’s more fun? Watching TV. You know what’s even more fun than that? Talking about feminism in TV shows with fellow young feminists!  

Which is why I, Becka, am starting a Feminist TV Club. Simply watch one episode of a certain TV show a week (20-45 minutes), and we’ll discuss it in the comments of a blog posting on my blog. 

The Details:

• First TV Show: Commander in Chief (2005-2006)

• Available on Netflix Instant or on Sidereel. Starting with Season 1, Episode 1.

• The blog post summarizing/discussing the episodes will go up every Monday starting August 8th, 2011 on my blog, Becka Tells All.

• Any and all suggestions are welcome! Please shoot me an e-mail at: becka.e.wall@gmail.com to talk about potential TV shows to use (they can be a whole series, an episode, or one season of a long-running TV show that deals with a particular issue), how to structure this endeavor, or general tips to improve awesomeness.  

See you on Monday! 

"Because You Think Being A Girl Is Degrading"

(Above) Do androgynous models catch flack for rocking the very concept of
gender binary to its core? Well, if they do, they're probably too
busy making snow angels in piles of cash to notice.

When I was in 8th grade, my teacher wanted to liven things up by giving us a debate topic that was a tad more risqué than usual, at least by middle-school standards. The topic was: Is it better to be a girl or a boy? Not "which sex is better?", but literally "which sex has the better end of the deal?"

I remember being excited by this question. As a little feminist-in-the-making (which at that age probably translated to "Woo! Girls rule!"), I had my answer perfectly formulated before anybody else had time to blink: 

Obviously, girls have it better because we have more freedom when it comes to doing the things we want. Girls can play sports and do other "guy stuff" and people think it's cool. But poor boys, if they want to knit, or bake, or do stereotypical "girl stuff" people make fun of them for it.

I was confident with this answer. It felt rock-solid, and I didn't think anybody would be able to come up with a good counter-argument when it came time to duke things out in the classroom. Truth be told, I can't remember what words were exchanged that day, but I do remember feeling utterly betrayed when my friend — a Korean chick who, to this day, is still one of the coolest and funniest people I know — sat on the boys' side of the argument. I just couldn't understand why she thought boys had a better deal in life. What happened to sisterhood?

Looking back, I realize now that my friend (who I'll call Ki-Jyeong Mung for legal reasons) was smarter than all of us. While the rest of us girls sat in smug satisfaction that we had a pretty good set-up in life (We could choose to be tomboys or girly-girls! How liberating!), we didn't understand the deeper implications of our opinion. When a girl is admired for kicking tail on the basketball court but a boy is called every number of degrading names for wearing a holiday sweater that's too "feminine," what is that really saying about the female gender?

After all these years, I finally get it. And I think this picture (which quotes a Madonna song) sums "it" up perfectly.

20 Best Biographies for Women in Business

This article was submitted to me by Florine C. over at bachelorsdegree.org.

What do Ruth Handler, Martha Stewart, and Oprah have in common? They're all included in an article titled 20 Best Biographies for Women in Business! This article features books about influential women who have overcome many of the trials that go along with being female in the male-dominated world of business and economics. 

If you're an aspiring entrepreneur (or simply have an insatiable hunger for new reading material), you should definitely check these books out — literally, from your library!

Women From Around the World, Who've Changed the World

Susan B. Anthony reeks of awesome.

My friend Catelyn, owner of a 60's-themed blog called Throw Back Rag and a Facebook addict, suggested that I share an article called Women Who Changed the World, which was originally posted on an online biography website. If you've got a spare minute (or two!), you should check it out — it covers spectacular women from present day all the way back to 570 BC.

If you're really into this sort of thing, you can also check out a database I stumbled across called 300 Women Who Changed the World. It covers all the major names that glorify the pages of history books (i.e. Eleanor Roosevelt, Catherine the Great, Joan of Arc), plus plenty more that I guarantee you've never heard of!

While I was sifting through the site, it was extremely exciting to come across names I've never seen before or otherwise couldn't pronounce (i.e. Sirimavo Bandaranaike, Sofya Kovalevskaya, and Oodgeroo Noonuccal, to name a few). I feel like we — Americans, anyway — have been programmed to associate "women in history" with American suffragettes or English queens, and fail to give women of color and other nationalities proper attention and credit. So for this post, let's check out some women from around the globe who've made an impact! 

Go ahead, click on a picture:

                  

                  

                  

                  

                  

                  

Life According to Google (Men vs. Women)

Is Google an elusive window into the complex minds of internetizens, 

or just an annoying friend who likes to finish all your sentences?

What are your feelings on chivalry?

My friend Erika asked me this question a while back, and I think it's an important one. We all know that one gross misconception about feminists is that we all hate men*, so it's probably also a preconception that feminists despise chivalry, or "special courtesy afforded to women by men."

I honestly had a heckuva time coming up with an answer to this question. I mean, if a boy insisted on opening my car door, pulling out my seat at dinner, whatever - would that go against my beliefs as a feminist because, in all actuality, I'm perfectly capable of doing all of those things by myself?

As they say, this issue is a double-edged sword. If a feminist woman denies chivalry, people will call her a man-hater (just check out the shirts that say "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it!"). If, on the other hand, a feminist woman accepts chivalry, people will call her a hypocrite.

We just can't get a break, can we?

Well, here's my answer to this brain-bending question. You might agree, you might not, but either way I'd love to hear your opinion.

Q: "What are your feelings on chivalry? Legitimate, heart-felt, pure chivalry?"

A: First of all, interesting question! But it makes all the difference that you said "Legitimate, heart-felt, pure chivalry." I think there's a huge difference between a boy doing something nice for a girl because he expects to "get something" in return, and a boy doing something nice for a girl because he genuinely cares for her. 

But I also don't think chivalry is necessarily something that a man should do for a woman* - it's common courtesy that all people should exhibit. It's the little things you do each and every day for people to show respect: holding doors and elevators, helping somebody with their groceries, giving somebody the bigger slice of pizza . . .

So, am I against a boy holding a door open for a girl? No way. But tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, I would expect that same girl to hold a door open for the person behind her, that person to hold a door for the person behind him, and so on.

In the long run, everybody deserves respect. Guys should respect girls, guys should respect guys, girls should respect guys, girls should respect girls . . . and I'm pretty sure I should respect you, and you should respect me. Because we're all people, right?

________________________

*Don't get me started on the "feminists hate men" stereotype . . .

*Yes, I know the official definition of chivalry is "The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women." But we're not in the 10th Century anymore. If knights are characterized by bravery, courtesy, and honor, women sure as hell can be modern-day "knights"!

Stereotypes about femininity got you down . . . ?

About a month ago a woman from HighWire, a program at Lancaster University in the UK, contacted me about a video made by some of her students. On top of earning PhDs, they're part of something called the "EmpowerMe" project. How cool does that sound?

The video advertises a new (and fictitious) product called Gendolene, a bleach of sorts that can be used to eradicate femina stereotypica, or stereotypical femininity, via the color pink.

The video's only a minute long, but it's a clever commentary on the "pinkification pandemic" that's taken the world by storm. Here's what the makers of Gendolene had to say on their website:

"The power of Gendolene isn’t something that comes in a bottle. It’s our collective ability to resist and reverse the tide of pinkification that has gradually washed its way across so many toys, clothes, accessories and household items targeted at girls and young women.

Our goal is to challenge the production and marketing of items that simply reinforce restrictive and damaging stereotypes about what it means to be a girl.

The culture of pink segregates boys and girls into different aisles. In one it’s cool to be active, adventurous and explore the world; in the other it’s cool just to look pretty and explore as far as the next pair of shoes or shade of lipstick.

We think it’s about time manufacturers and retailers join the 21st century and find new ways of engaging with our young people that promote equality and empowerment for all, irrespective of the body we happen to be born into."

I can already see somebody reading this and thinking "so that's what feminists want, to get rid of all the pink in the world?" Puh-lease. The video is speaking to the fact that when institutions such as "femininity" and "masculinity" are rigid and narrowly defined, everyone is affected - men and women alike!

Update (1/11/2011) - Becci from the EmpowerMe Project would like to add:

"I think that its really important for children's toys to inform and prepare children for the diverse and complex world that lies ahead. We should therefore be providing our children with a wide range of toys which not only support their physical and cognitive development, but that also develop their understanding of how 'real' men and women look, behave and interact with the world, as opposed to distorted and often unobtainable representations."

Should men and women be treated equally?

"Turns Out You Gals Are Useful After All!" *shakes head*

The question “should women be treated differently than men?” has unnerved people for centuries, but it’s become especially prominent since the women’s rights movement of the 1960’s when women proved (at least on a more public scale) that hey, we’re people too. But in order to analyze such a broad question we have to break it down, because in its natural state it could be interpreted (or misinterpreted) a thousand different ways. For the sake of my argument, I’m going to assume the question states: “should women be treated differently, given unequal opportunities, and/or succumb to gender roles strictly because they are female?” And to that my answer is heck no.

People have always had the uncanny ability to discriminate against each other. Our foremothers and forefathers were guilty of it just as we’re guilty of it today, even if we don’t like to admit it, or like to pretend that we’re all upstanding citizens. But when you get an eclectic group of people together a hierarchy is almost always going to form, and usually for the most ridiculous reasons. After Africans were imported to North America to be used on cotton plantations and for other drudge-labor, white folks got it in their heads that these “barbarians” were inferior intellectually, morally, and spiritually. The same thing happened with the influx of people from Asia during the mid-1800’s; obviously because they looked different they were bound to cause trouble, rape our daughters, and be useless for anything other than getting out mustard stains at the local Laundromat (please note the sarcastic inflection of my voice). Adolf Hitler is another fine example of someone who had a seriously skewed perception of life’s pecking order; he believed that Jewish people were to blame for everything from economic troubles to Germany’s defeat in World War I. All of these examples were horrible shadows in our past - the types of things that, every once in a while, make me ashamed to be an American - but we can’t forget that sexism, one of the oldest forms of discrimination, is still alive and kicking.

In the beginning, when population densities were low and people spent most of their time hunting and gathering just to survive, there was general equality between the sexes because everybody played an important role in society. If men stopped hunting, everybody would starve. Likewise, if women didn’t forage for berries and other vegetation people would still be in trouble, because finding enough meat was never a sure thing. It wasn’t until the advent of sedentary agriculture that people were “freed up” from their responsibilities and left to pursue other fields. But when men and women inevitably filtered into different roles - men busying themselves crafting weapons, hunting, and going to war; women with tending fields and taking care of children - a clear pecking order was in the works. And despite the fact that more than 99 percent of male and female genetic coding is exactly the same (Brizendine), women are still feeling the repercussions of that ancient hierarchy, haunted by the term coined by Simone de Beauvoir nearly four decades ago: “the second sex.”

One of the most frustrating parts of being a woman is being talked about - or rather, defined - by our gender. As a sixteen-year-old high school girl I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard people (mainly guys) saying “girls are all prissy, high maintenance, emotional, and gold-diggers.” Since when does the fact that I have “unmentionables” determine what kind of person I am, whether I’m strong or unstable, intelligent or ditzy? Frankly, it’s insulting. And it’s no better than assuming that all African Americans steal things, that all Asian people are bad drivers, or that all guys want only “one thing.” You cannot take a group of people (and mind you, there are roughly 3 zillion women in the world) and pin specific traits on them. It doesn’t work that way. And assuming that a sixteen-year-old boy has been lucky enough to meet even 0.00001% of the world’s female population, who is he to judge what trait’s all women have or not have?

The expectations for women in our society are pretty much set in stone. As women, we are expected to be pretty, delicate, soft, and cooperative. We’re not usually expected to speak our minds; it’s much more convenient if we’re seen but not heard. We’re taught from a young age that girlhood revolves around shopping, clothes (Target was recently blasted for selling padded bras meant for six-year-olds), makeup, and boys, and that our talents are much better spent in nurturing others than in scientific or technical fields that might take us away from our domestic duties. Marya Mannes may have said it best: “Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, a good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-dressed, well-groomed, and unaggressive.” In short, there is so much pressure on girls to fit into this Barbie-like mold of what it means “to be a woman,” that it can be incredibly damaging to our self-esteem and peace of mind.

One of the most poignant aspects of our so-called “womanhood” is how much of our net worth is derived from how we look. There’s a two-to-one ratio of depression in women compared to men, but these trends don’t surface until girls reach early adolescence (Brizendine) when pressures to be “hot,” “sexy,” “desirable,” and maybe even “easy” reach their peak. During this tender age, if a girl is a tomboy, has no desire to talk about boys, would rather boldly argue her points than sit passively, or in any way goes against the “norms” for girls her age, she may have a really hard time fitting in with her peers.

But this isn’t just a women’s issue, this affects men as well. Think about it: with pressures to date, get good grades, carve out a reputation, and do otherwise unsavory activities, adolescence is tough enough. But when people don’t fit the “mold” that society has deemed appropriate for them (a role that’s existed since the dawn of time), that can be devastating. For example, do you honestly see a boy who would rather knit than play football getting a whole lot of respect from his peers? Of course not, because boys are supposed to be macho, tough-as-nails, adrenaline-pumping machines, not spineless, flower-sniffing twinkle toes . . . Do you get my point? These stereotypes are killing us. And if men and women are treated differently (i.e. unequally) based solely on their genders, this only reinforces gender roles which are damaging to all parties involved.

A sad reality for women today is that even if they encompass all the (wonderful) qualities associated with being a woman - empathy, compassion, helpfulness - these qualities are grossly devalued in our society. In fact, today’s biggest insults are ones that attack people for their (stereotypical) feminine qualities. “You’re a wuss.” “Be a man.” “Boys don’t cry.” “You throw like a girl.” When the biggest insult for a boy is to be called a girl, and the biggest insult for a GIRL is to be called a girl . . . Well, that’s when we know things have gone too far and we’ve got a problem on our hands. I’m talking a global-warming-sized problem. An economic-deficit-sized problem. A mind-blowingly HUGE problem because half of the world’s population is being attacked for something they can’t control and shouldn’t be ashamed of!

But through careful societal manipulation and advertising we’re lead to believe that aggression, boldness, physical strength, and dominance (stereotypical male qualities) beat out honesty, cautiousness, and mediation (stereotypical female qualities) every time. If we continue to let it be okay to treat women differently on the bases that we were born with a vagina - and don’t deserve every single right that men have - the gap between traits that are considered positive (male) and traits that are considered negative (female) will continue to grow, and everybody will be at a great disadvantage.

One gross misdemeanor that would make any feminist (including myself) cringe is when common courtesy is mistaken for “being a gentleman.” Boys my age complain that (all) girls expect them to hold doors open for them, pull out their chairs, and fork out their wallets every time the bill comes around. I’ll save my you-can’t-categorize-all-women-like-that speech for another day, but it’s unfortunate that “common courtesy” is all too often confused with “a man’s duty.” Don’t hold a door open for me because I’m a fragile woman who needs to be tended and cared for, hold it open for me because I’m a person, and it’s the polite thing to do. Just like I’m going to hold the door open for the next person, regardless of whether they’re a man or a woman.

Up until now, we’ve discussed strictly emotional aspects of sexism: how boys and girls feel when they’re typecast, how infuriating it is for a woman - a woman with unique thoughts, feelings, and ambitions - to be stereotyped because of her gender, and how devastating it is to be told the things you can and cannot do, all because of the parts you were born with. For some of us, the fact that there are people suffering because of gender stereotyping is reason enough to consider sexism a hot-button issue. But for others, all that “mushy stuff” isn’t good enough. These people (usually the same ones who think all feminists are hairy man-haters) want tangible proof, and unless we can show them exactly when, where, and how women are stereotyped and degraded they’ll never be satisfied. Well, I will be happy to enlighten them.

According to Deborah Siegel in Sisterhood, Interrupted, “Women own only 1 percent of the world’s assets, continue to make up the majority of the world’s poor, [and] are disproportionately victims of violent crime.” Speaking to that last item, we girls are constantly reminded how dangerous the world can be and how it’s our responsibility to protect ourselves. But isn’t it funny that disproportionately less time is spent teaching young people (i.e. males) why domestic violence is wrong, or how it can be prevented in the first place? In an extreme example of how little people acknowledge the all-too-real threat of abuse, “The South Carolina House Judiciary Committee voted in 2005 to make cock-fighting a felony, but tabled a bill that would have done the same for domestic violence” (Valenti).

I could write a book on how unfairly women are treated in the professional world, but I’ll start with something called the Glass Ceiling Effect, as explained by Jessica Valenti in her book Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters:

It’s illegal to discriminate against someone because of their sex (or race, color, national organization, or religion, for that matter), but it still happens all the time. The Federal Glass Ceiling Commission found that one of the reasons for discrimination is a “difference” barrier that “manifests through conscious and unconscious stereotyping and bias.” So basically, the people who do the hiring like hiring people who look like them. And if it’s a white guy doing the hiring... Well, you see where I’m going.

As of 2007, women represented 16 out of 100 U.S. senators, 71 of 435 representatives, 20 percent of college professors, 17 percent of law firm partners (Seigel), and men continue to outnumber women six to one in top corporate jobs (Valenti). Not to mention that equal-pay-for-equal-work is still a joke, “because for every dollar a man earns, a women still earns only 77 cents - an increase from the 59 cents she earned when the second wave of feminism began, but still far from equal” (Siegel). And if all this weren’t enough, an article in a July 2006 issue of The New York Times reported that “unemployed men do less work around the house than women who have full-time jobs”; a 2005 study from New York University found “the more a woman weighs, the less her family income and occupational prestige”; and reputable publications around the country are printing articles with outrageous titles like “Don’t Marry Career Women” and “Career Women Make Bad Mothers” (Valenti). We just can’t win, can we?

What’s worse, men are rarely (if ever) discriminated this way. When have you heard of a man being refused for hire purely because he was a man? Men have been fired for being “too fat” and “too gay” (just a couple of the many stigmas we “imperfect people” face) but never because of their gender. In fact, if we were to create a fictional world where some men earned less than other men because they were, say, shorter - most people would just laugh. Even though the scenario mimics perfectly how some women are treated (i.e. the short men would be earning less for biological factors completely out of their control), we all know that this would never happen in real life.

So when do we stop talking about that instance of office sexism when a woman’s behind was treated like a piece of meat, and start reporting it? When do we stop accepting less pay for doing the same jobs as men (or, if that doesn’t affect us personally, start standing up for women who are in that position)? When do we stop letting others dictate the types of fields we enter, the top positions we apply for, and the passions we have? When do we stop letting terms like “bitch” and “slut” define women in this country? And when will we finally realize that heck, we’re worth fighting for?

This is where feminism comes into play.

If you’re like most Americans, the word “feminism” conjures up several images in your mind. Maybe you picture hippie ladies burning their bras and letting their untrimmed facial and underarm hair flap in the wind. Maybe you picture radical women plotting their next attack on mankind (literally), or socially-inept, angry-at-the-world shut-ins as they mutter curses under their breath before sitting down to a meal of little puppies. There are so many misconceptions about feminism (thank you, media!), that it’s really frustrating for young women who want to be an advocate for women’s rights, but don’t want to be labeled as any of the above stereotypes. In her comprehensive novel Feminism, Christina Fisanick explained:

According to a 2005 poll conducted by CBS News, it is a tough time to be a feminist. Although the majority of women polled believe that the women’s movement had helped improve their opportunities above those of their mothers’ generation, 70 percent of them did not consider themselves to be feminists. This data reflects what has become a growing number of women who have distanced themselves from the label “feminist.” It is not uncommon for women, especially young women, to begin sentences about the rights of women with the phrase, “I am not a feminist, but . . .” Regrettably, feminism has become the new f-word.

Pat Robertson, a right-wing political spokesperson and host of The 700 Club, even went so far as to say feminism is “a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” Wow. Please take a moment to stifle your incredulous laughter, or regain consciousness (whichever comes first).

Thanks to the media (and lovely right-wingers like Mr. Robertson) Feminism has been distorted almost beyond recognition. This idea of a man-hating subculture of women surely isn’t what our grandmothers had in mind when they picketed for equal job opportunities and reproductive rights. At it’s core, feminism is simply “the movement toward full political, economic, and social equality for men and women” (Baumgardner). But we might relate better to the phrase made famous by Cheris Kramarae in The Feminist Dictionary, “feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings.”

Feminism is generally described in three stages or waves. The First Wave initiated in 1848 at Seneca Falls, New York with the first formal women’s rights conference. Women who joined this movement were often part of the thriving antislavery movement; other times they were inspired by local Native American cultures that afforded women extensive rights, like land ownership and the right to vote. Second Wave feminism was dedicated to equality under the law and in opportunity, and “beginning in the sixties and continuing into the seventies, laws were passed guaranteeing equal access to education (Title IX), outlawing gender discrimination (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act), and coining phrases for date rape, domestic violence, and sexism - serious problems that used to just be called life” (Valenti). Though Second Wave feminism is often criticized for exclusively favoring white, middle-class women, modern-day feminism (or Third Wave feminism) has been shaped by women of all races, nationalities, religions, abilities, and sexual orientations, making it increasingly relevant to all of our lives.

However, there’s still a lot of controversy surrounding “liberal feminism” and how it might corrupt the integrity of the initial movement of the 1960’s. In short, there are some women who believe female empowerment is all about flaunting their sexuality. “Only thirty years (my lifetime) ago,” stated Ariel Levy, author of Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture,“ our mothers were ‘burning their bras’ and picketing Playboy, and suddenly we [are] getting implants and wearing the bunny logo as supposed symbols of our liberation. How had the culture shifted so drastically in such a short period of time?” Levy went on to say:

What was almost more surprising than the change itself were the responses I got when I started interviewing the men and - often - women who edit magazines like Maxim and make programs like The Man Show and Girls Gone Wild. This new raunch culture didn’t mark the death of feminism, they told me; it was evidence that the feminist project had already been achieved. We’d earned the right to look at Playboy; we were empowered enough to get Brazilian bikini waxes.

However discouraging this new wave of “chauvinist women” may be, we can’t forget the hordes of women who still want to represent the integrity of First Wave feminism. Women around the country (and the world) are gaining momentum as an extremely positive and influential force; we are the enlightened ones who know sexism and gender discrimination is fundamentally wrong, and we’re the ones who are trying to do something about it.

There are some people out there who believe feminism is irrelevant in this day and age. “Women got their 19th Amendment,” they say, “isn’t that good enough?” While women have come a long way (I certainly appreciate the fact that I’m not barred from wearing pants), we still have a long way to go. Women still have a great deal to fight for because, to be honest, women are not seen as equal to men. Not on a whole, anyway. Now this doesn’t mean that all women are oppressed, that all women are unhappy, or that I’m not appreciative for the rights we do have. But there are plenty of women in the world who are suffering unnecessarily for things beyond their control, and as part of the glorious group that is the WAWOW (Wickedly Awesome Women of the World) I have to do my part to better the condition of women everywhere. Because the day we stop standing up for each other, the day we sit down and throw our hands up in the air, the day we stop fighting for the rights we know we deserve - is the day we agree with everything we’ve ever been accused of.

Works Cited
Baumgardner, Jennifer, and Amy Richards. Grassroots: a Field Guide for Feminist Activism. New York, N.Y.: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005. Print.

Brizendine, Louann. The Female Brain. New York: Broadway, 2006. Print.

Fisanick, Christina. Feminism. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2008. Print.

Levy, Ariel. Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. New York: Free, 2005. Print.

Siegel, Deborah. Sisterhood, Interrupted: From Radical Women To Grrls Gone Wild. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2007. Print.

Valenti, Jessica. Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide To Why Feminism Matters. Emeryville, CA: Seal, 2007. Print.

Weiner, Jessica. Do I Look Fat in This?: Life Doesn't Begin Five Pounds from Now. New York: Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2006. Print.